Posted from Jan's Sunday Punch Blog.
Me: blink blink. (turning red) I can't stop blinking (you know that thing I do when I start blinking too hard). I keep trying to blink myself out of this. It's not working. I give Julie a blank, get me out of here look. Julie does this laughing, oh shit thing with her face when she's surprised. I think she wants out, too. (silent scream while I hover over the whole shitshow) But what about the other radiation treatment?
Oncologist W: Let's just quit f*cking with it. I'll get Boudreaux. (Yes, the surgeon's name is really Dr. Boudreaux and he's really good so don't even think about any Boudreaux jokes.)
I did another CT 3D scan in Kenner and a day later we were talking with the surgeon.
Surgeon B: (After betting Julie the surgeon would say no again. Or maybe she bet me.) Mhmmm. Mmhhmmm. Yeah (sigh and serious look as he shows us the scan). Well, do you have anything big planned for the next couple of months? We can plan around any vacations or trips....? We just need to get it out. We'll do a central hep..bwa wa bwaaa" ...sounds I can no longer hear...
Me: Me shaking my head, but I can't make a sound. (blinking again)
Julie: No, nothing planned.
Surgeon: Okay, then enjoy Thanksgiving. We'll do it November 30th here at Ochsner and you should be feeling better by Christmas.
He hugged me or some other sort of physical contact while asking me, who is not breathing at this point, if I was going to be okay. Julie just kept talking and asking questions.
So there you go. After many discussions, questions, logistics and calls to the nurse, tami is leaving the station. What she doesn't pack up and take with her to the bin, will either be radiated or chemo-gelled on the spot. Also, they'll do an extensive search for the primary cancer while I'm on the table.
Surgery, recovery, adjusting to new habits, diets and growing more liver. I'm not sure sometimes if I'm smiling, screaming, laughing or crying. I had no idea I'd be so terrified of the thing I most wanted—surgery. (DON'T GET ME WRONG, I'M VERY HAPPY ABOUT THIS.) For now, I'm generally calm. It gets easier every day to visualize little or no tumor.
tami tumor didn't get much smaller, but judging from the position, I'm not sure there was ever an amount that was going to make it easy. stupid cancer picked the middle of my liver to build her apartment with a winding staircase around my vein. The surgical procedure is called a central hepatectomy. My family and I will be in Kenner, LA (NOLA) for 7-10 days at or near Ochsner Medical Center. I head back to Winnie for a short while, then to Austin. Our plans are flexible.
November 30. buh bye tami.
bam, pow, smak, whhheeeeeeeeeeee!
jan
