Lean Into It.

I was in Houston this past week for another three-cycle measurement and a 21-day jolt of chemo. I had a small amount of reduction, around 1cm. This shrinkage will bring my total reduction percentage up to approximately 16%. I'm heading in the right direction. However, this number is not anywhere near a size that can be surgically removed because of the position of the tumor and two key blood vessels. Another issue is the amount of blood flow to and from the tumor. When tami tumor set up camp, she drove her stakes in deep. I think it is safe to say that as long as this chemo is reducing the size of the tumor and/or controlling growth, we are in for a long haul. Lean into it. I am.

Still no signs of a primary tumor.

I met my new study RN who I will call Harley RN. The bike story will come later. I'll work with Harley RN rather than RN Melissa who has moved on to do other things and is no longer with MD Anderson. Dr. G and PA Brand have increased my dose of a med to help with the blood pressure. It just makes me a little crabby at times. Cousin Julie's comment was, "hard to tell a difference because you're so crabby anyway Jan". She means it with love, but not hugs. Julie is not a hugger.

I traveled from Austin this time with our family friend, Ruthy. Ruth managed to bullshit her way into the IV room with me to watch. She told them she traveled all the way from Paraguay so she needed to come in with me. Nice move. I'm always amazed at how few boundaries I really have or how laid back MD Anderson seems to be at times. When they start letting Julie give me the IV, we might need to be concerned. She asks frequently if she can give me the IV using the magical "veinfinder" machine, but they just laugh at her. Incidentally, Julie has never asked if she can administer the contrast enema....

Cousin Lee Ann and my pal Greta also joined us. Greta gave me a kickass necklace made of crystals and stones to heal and calm me and my liver.

I'll keep you posted. Thanks for your support.

smack, 

jan

PS. Since Nurse E. has been the one to give me the last three contrast enemas during these CAT scans, I've decided it might mean we are married n some cultures. I haven't told him that. I'll just start referring to him from now on as my enema husband, or my "husbenema". Who says I'm no good at long-term relationships? 

Unexpected Inspirations

Hello friends and family. Chemo blast number six went smoothly. Dad sat with me while I was getting my Avastin drip. I had no scans again which has been nice the last couple of visits. No disrobing and no trips to/in the tunnel. My blood tests are still doing fine. And for the most part I am feeling well. I'm struggling a bit with my blood pressure and angina again. I haven't had to worry about those for the last two cycles, but it appears we may need to make some further adjustments. I check in with Dr. BAH and the cardiologist, Brand PAC, this week which will be helpful. 

While waiting for my appointment at MDA. I had a great visit with a woman who had an aggressive type of cancer in her pancreas. Her doctor had been trying to reduce the tumor so they could operate and remove the tumor and some other "optional organs". She was absolutely giddy with excitement and a little nervous at the prospect of finally making it to surgery. Her surgery is planned for Tuesday. I met pancreas-lady while six or seven of us patients were waiting around to be weighed and measured before our appointments. There seemed to be a backlog and she was just chattering away to a few of us. She asked all about my cancer and another woman's (lung-lady) as well.  She continued to talk with excitement about the preparations she'd made for her surgery on Tuesday. She had a "bring it on" attitude with the training and stamina preparation to back it up. It was as if she was experiencing the runners high at the 20 mile mark. We didn't talk long before I had to go back with my Nurse Bigshot. We gave each other a hug for good luck and strength, then we went our separate ways. 

Over the last few weeks I've also had the chance to meet Sally, who is an awesome firecracker of a gal with that same "bring it on" attitude, and who has lived for twenty years with NETS in her liver. She's been gracious enough to share her experiences with me which has been invaluable. It's been especially great to hear about her longevity with carcinoid cancer.

I am eternally grateful for meeting pancreas-lady and Sally. I hope I have the strength to see past the journey to surgery and the anxiety over having over half my liver removed to be excited and relieved to have finally gotten there. It is a necessary part of the process, but I think I can finally "visualize" the other side with confidence.  

Thank you both for being so damn inspirational and friendly. Bless pancreas-lady and her family during her surgery. I told her I was certain she was going to do brilliantly and gave her the STAY STRONG SISTER battle-cry.

I'm also sending a shout-out prayer for my friends Clear and Christian in the UK. Love, love, and strength. Stay strong.

kisses, jan

Happy New Year

Happy New Year. I've been looking forward to a new year. I keep thinking it has to be better than 2008, although there were some high points. In general, I'm glad to be moving forward. Still. 

I'm on cycle 5 of the Rad 001/Avastin study. My visit to MD Anderson this week was very positive. No scans, but I had a GREAT, yes all caps great, exam, blood and urine tests, and another dose of the Avastin chemo. My white blood cell counts are not dropping, which is good news. My previously troublesome hobgoblin tests are now normal and it appears I'm the healthiest I've been for quite a few months. Dr. F and Mel seemed really, really happy. It was as though I made a 98 on a test after making numerous borderline Ds. Not quite 100%, but still great. I think my liver even felt a bit smaller when the doc did his routine punch and jab exams. Yes, Dr. F even practices his own punches on our gal tami tumor. And, it seems as though we might have the angina/heart side-effects under control for now. 

I'm coming up on my one-year diagnosis anniversary,.. birthday? Not quite sure what to call it. But yes, it will be a year this month. I'm not sure what the recognition for an anniversary like this should be. Any other “celebration” BC, would have required a Makers Mark (straight up) with a menthol cigarette. But that hardly seems appropriate with huge ass cancerous tumor in my liver. Fireworks maybe? Or just hanging out with family and friends and I've been doing that since Thanksgiving. So maybe I'm already doing whatever I'm supposed to be doing to recognize tami's introduction into our lives. 

Christmas with Sharon, Mark, Cory, Luke and Sam was awesome. There is nothing like hanging out with a 4, 5 and 8 year old on Christmas morning. It was a Superhero and Star Wars Clone Wars day.  And for as many games of Phase 10 that were played during the Hurricane Ike evacuation, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years, it is safe to say my status as Phase 10 champion for 2008 is still intact. I cannot wait to read the contradictory responses to this one statement.

I'm looking forward to 2009. I'm looking forward to this damn tumor moving out, with the help of Dr. A, of course. I'm looking forward to being able to say I did kick cancer ass. My heartfelt thanks to my family and many friends who have been there for me during this very difficult year. I cannot imagine how much harder this would have been without your constant love, hugs, prayers, well wishes and support. I feel very blessed. And yes, I appreciate the hugs. Really. 

Happy Holidays,

jan 

And Then it Started Snowing in Houston....

I got great news yesterday. tami did a bit of shrinking since our last measurement. It appears she's reduced approximately 10.3% in size. This equals a little over a 2cm reduction in overall size. There is still not a "magic" number out there for a size we need to get to because much of it depends on the reduction of size and how it pulls the tumor away from the portal vein. The plan for now is to continue on the current study with the chemo provided every 21 days.

I travelled to Houston with Rana and met Julie and Greta there. These wacky gals hung out with me for the CT scans on Tuesday and Rana, Greta, Dad and Bev were there for the clinical appointment with Dr. F on Wednesday. It was a very long day, and then it started snowing flurries in Houston. Crazy. More to come....

smack,
jan

Oh the Suspense....

Yes. The suspense is making me crazy. I head to Houston this week for relief from the suspense of whether or not this study is shrinking tami the tumor. It would be awesome if the Dr said, "tumor? what tumor Ms. Kiker?" I don't think that's going to happen, but I'm hopeful there is shrinkage.

I'm packing my robe and slippers......just in case. Stay tuned.

smack,
jan

Time Flies

Sheesh, it's been a month since I've posted. I'm doing fine. I'm on my third 21-day cycle of the Rad001/Avastin study. I've had two doses of Avastin. I don't feel quite as flaky and forgetful as I did on the Xeloda/Temodar, but I am having some of the same angina problems. Kick-ass, sucker-punch angina. Fortunately, I'm being monitored closely by the oncologist and cardiologist. I've had an EKG and a PET scan of the blood flow in and around my heart. All tests were normal and didn't require further action. I have a handy nitro spray that I carry with me everywhere, which helps to keep the angina under control. It's sometimes very effective when I pull it out in meetings. It sends a strong message... 

My last visit to MD Anderson was interesting. Always good to see the tumor removal team. I performed my duties as a study patient, had a shot of Sandostatin and received my second infusion of Avastin along with a new supply of Rad001 pills. To my delight, my brother Dave came with me to the infusion area where we watched a History Chanel show on Trucks, another on Horses, and of course, discussed the bodily functions a cancer patient experiences. Important to note here: I am not the only member of my family who discusses bodily functions. Not even close.

I have a couple of funny 24-hour urine test stories to write about, but I've decided to devote one whole blog to the lovely experience when the time is right. I'll take my next 24-hour urine test into MD Anderson around December 10. I know you'll be on pins and needles in anticipation of that one combined with tales of traveling the three hours to Houston while trying not to have to stop at a gas station to pee, which would mean bringing my big orange jug into the rest stop with me. Good times.

Yes, my next visit to MD Anderson is around December 10. I'll stay a bit longer for this next visit as I'll have a measurement to check the progress of the three cycles of the study. I'm hopeful the results are shrinkage and the quirky little aches and pains in my chest will be worth it.

Thanks for checking in and all the positive notes from the last blog.
smack, smack
jan

Ten Alternative Methods for Removing tami (On Jan's Planet)

One of the ways to live life with tami without going nuts is to visualize her departure. This is usually something that happens many times throughout the day. It's a constant way to make her (and her friends) feel unwelcome in the "condo" called Jan's liver.

The following removal methods are not restricted by time, space or reality:

1. The largest wave from hurricane Ike would sweep tami out-to-sea along with Dr. Ben's beach cabin.
2. I could remove my liver during pottery class and place it on the potters wheel. After centering on the wheel, I'd use my hook to scrape tami's fat ass off my liver. Of course, my liver would be replaced after I smooth any rough edges with my sponge. tami and team would be fired in the kiln and turned into an ash tray or a toothpick holder.
   
3. D'Lisa could shoot tami off my liver with her deer rifle. Yes, this is tricky but, she could do this without ever harming me. After retrieving the tumor, she and Mark would have tami stuffed and mounted for the deer camp. tami would stay there for eternity collecting dust, cigarette butts, beer caps, etc. (Please note, before and during the time of removal there would be no drinking by the shooter.)
4. Dennis Quaid would travel to the tumor site in that tiny spaceship he used in Innerspace (1987). Cory, Sam and Luke would go along with him as backup support with the swords and Ben 10 watches they use on everything else that moves. Once inside, they could successfully use all tools necessary to remove and obliterate all tumors. When finished, they'd come back home to a Happy Meal, complete with chocolate shake and toy suprise as a reward for the hard work.
5. A new televisions series on JBO (Jan's Box Office) with a hot tampire named Bill as the main character. However, this tampire doesn't feed on blood as vampires do, but on tumors. I play the sassy, southern waitress (tampire banger) Bill seduces and feeds off of. After months of crazy tampire antics, tami and her friends are removed and... I'll work this one out offline.
6. I'd beat the shit out of tami in a Phase Ten tournament. The winner (me) would leave the table with a clean, tumor-free liver and a clever tee-shirt.
7. Elise and Susan decide to try removing tami with shuffleboard weights after a night of karaoke and drinking at Lovett's in Port Aransas. tami and I are situated at the other end of the table and the removal process begins. Both ladies consider themselves to be experts at shuffleboard and karaoke after a few drinks. It could work.
8. Fred Flinstone and Barney Rubble would use those big clubs on tami and smash her to a pulp. Then Fred would effortlessly peel her away and sling her into a new century. Preferrably not this one.
9. The alien spaceship that will be coming down to collect Dubya will also pick up their missing tumors, including tami and friends, before returning to the Mother Planet forever. Their planet will give them all the love and compassion they need so they no longer have to try to find it here.
10. No explanation needed.

Seriously, all is well. I've had a sinus infection this week, but should feel better any day now. I'm excited and very ready to head back to Houston for my first dose of Avastin next week. I'll take this drug by infusion rather than in pill form like the Rad001. I feel really good about this protocol and I'm putting all my positive energy into helping it work. Thanks for your prayers, kind wishes and for checking in.

punches, jan

PS. Remember to vote.